Ramblings of an Author: Love and Sacrifices
by True Glint
Summary: Just something short and sweet that I threw together for my first year marker...


I sat down on the edge of my balcony with a sigh, amusing myself by looking out at the scenery around me. I didn't live in the most eye pleasing place in the world but it wasn't a shit hole either. Low rolling countryside was sprawled out before me, broken in places by the few modest houses like my own. Blue skies, green grass, blah blah blah...

I mean who really cares for all that? In an age where technology makes leaps and bounds all we care about is how much of it we can get.

I had just finished a rather random conversation over Skype with my fellow authors and readers of fan fiction and had decided to relax in the British air. Well, relaxing for me means thinking about the past or cooking up fresh ideas for my stories. You can't have everything.

However my musings were cut short by someone approaching.

"Sup Glint."

I glanced to my right to see Zero sitting beside me. The black fox never did leave me for long.

I waved him off. "The usual. You?"

Zero simply nodded back "Me and the guys are worried about you Glint."

That was weird. "Why?"

He gave me a look. "No one should be alone like you are." He was obviously referring to my lack of a relationship. "We've discussed it for a while now and decided that you should get yourself a nice girl to spend some time with." Yup, he was.

I sighed. "I understand your concerns Zero but I can't risk myself again. Relationships are like fire. You get burned in the end."

"Then I can always scan you a female Renamon, you've made plenty of them. I could even try it with a female Kyuubi."

I had a feeling this would come up. "Don't Zero. I don't want nor need anything like that. I'm fine with what I have. "

"Nothing? You're fine with nothing?"

"Yes Zero. I'm fine with nothing. Now please drop the subject." I could see he wasn't happy about my dismissal but ultimately it was my choice and I had made it.

I had far too much bad luck with relationships and I wasn't prepared to go through all that again. Anyone else is free to make their own choices in life, this was mine. I watched him leave after that, allowing me to return to my relaxing.

I guessed I was there for about half an hour before Crimson joined me, obviously back from wherever he had gone. The guys liked to wander now and again and often left the house for things known to themselves. I didn't mind, it gave me time to myself. Lycamon rarely left the house like Zero but Crimson often explored, as he called it. But tonight was our dedicated film night, since they hadn't seen many films since coming to my home or this world. Tonight was the third Fast and Furious film, we had seen the first two already and they loved it. Something to do with the fast paced stuff.

Crimson sat beside me just like Zero did earlier, but he made no attempts at conversation. That's what I liked about him: no nonsense conversations, just silent companionship. That was all I needed.

"Glint?" Maybe not.

"Yes Crimson?"

He never even glanced my way. "He's right you know. We do worry about you."

"I know Crimson, but you don't need to. I'm fine as I am." I spared him a side glance to catch him looking at me from the corner of his eye. "I don't need anyone and I don't want anyone. It also gives me more time to hang with you lot."

Crimson let loose the shortest of laughs. "We can't provide you with what a female can Glint, no offence but we don't swing that way. Neither do you unless that's changed recently."

"It hasn't." I was quick to clarify that. "I understand your point, but I don't need that from anyone. I have all I need right here in my home. My writing, my friends, and you three. What more could I possibly want when I am happy?"

There was silence for a little while. Then, "What about her?"

I knew who he meant. A figure from my high school days that never got anywhere for various reasons. Mostly my own but I won't go into that. Perhaps she already knew but all that mattered was I never approached her and nothing happened.

"That's in the past Crimson. Chances are she's already settled down with someone else as is her right. Besides, even if she was available she wouldn't look at me twice in that way."

He was having none of it. "You tried to protect her from your own treatment in high school Glint. You kept your distance just so she didn't have to be treated badly because she was with you. You denied yourself your only potential chance of happiness during those years because you didn't think you could deal with both your own share of hell and hers on top, you didn't think you were strong enough to push through all of that and fight to keep her with you. Doesn't that nobility count for anything?"

"I don't need to be reminded of my childhood Crimson, I know how bad it was and what I gave up just to try and make things easier to bear. So what if I missed my chance back then? What's telling you that I still have that chance?"

"You still talk to her Glint. You've met up with her for friendly chats and drinks on occasion. Does she even know about all this?" Crimson's eyes remained focused on me the whole time.

I sighed deeply. "No. I didn't have the heart to tell her, and it wouldn't matter anyway. Like I said she's moved on from school as everyone does. What right do I have to bring up things from the past and think they are worth anything? What's done is done, I deal with it."

Lycamon stuck his head out of the door. "Guys, film time! We're ready in here."

I rose with Crimson who gave me a hard eye. "We aren't finished with this conversation."

I went in first but spoke over my shoulder. "Yes we are. Nothing will change no matter how much we discuss it. Now let's go watch the film already, this one is good."

* * *

**A/N: Just something to 'celebrate' being on this site for one year, sadly it took me longer to write that planned.**

**And for the record, only the area 'I' live in is not real, the rest is pretty much the real me. An insight to my life for my loyal followers, if you will. There may be more of these in future that will offer tit-bits of my life in this abstract manner, depending on what I feel like sharing and how I go about writing it. But for the most part I'll just continue with my writing.**

**Like it? Hate it? That's up to you, I just figured I'd do something different to mark my first whole year on this site. Happy Writer's Birthday to me...**


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